Witness, My Eye is on You

Psalm 102 & 103

“He made known His ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel; The LORD is gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” –Psalm 103: 7-12

I used to think I was too far gone.

All the sins I had committed.

Drinking.

Smoking.

Sex…

I thought I was too filthy to be saved.

“God hates me. I can’t go back to Him. He won’t want me.”

And this is the internal monologue we feed ourselves.

We learn from a young age, if we are punished then it is our fault from the first moment.

We see mom and dad mad.

A friend won’t talk to us.

We don’t belong.

People turn their faces and that must mean something is wrong.

But not with the world… with me.

I used to think this way all the time.

But it wasn’t until after I felt myself stray too far that God finally intervened.

“My child, return to me! Return!”

The panic attack in March 2024 changed everything.

And I’m so grateful that it did.

I wasn’t acting like myself.

Searching for validation in the eyes of the world instead of the eyes of the one who knew me.

The one who saw me for all that I was and am—apart from all my sins.

All my transgressions.

He was always there.

He never abandoned any of us.

He sees us through all our exhaustion.

He is not ignoring you.

You might feel the weight of the world upon your shoulders and think you are going at this alone—but you’re not!

Feeling this despair.

This loss of control.

In the clutches of depression.

They are not for nothing.

And all this is not permanent as you may feel.

God is everlasting.

“But You, LORD, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations. You will arise and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to show her favor; the appointed time has come.” –Psalm 102:13

God is compassionate.

That fear is not from Him.

God is love.

And through all those nights of screaming.

Of panic attacks.

The high bouts of anxiety that’s all I repeated in my head.

“God is love. God is love. God is love. God is love. God is love. God is love.”

Every time.

I reminded myself that He repeats constantly in the scripture.

Do not be afraid.

You are fragile now, yes.

You are frightened to look upon Him.

I know, I get it. I was, too.

But come to Him in your brokenness.

God hears your pain.

And He not only hears it He also heals it.

God isn’t just listening to your distress –He’s actively restoring you.

Just remember this, if you take anything from me today, I would love it to be this.

Your story is bigger than this moment.

Psalm 102 is full of fear that life is too short, too hard and too heavy.

But if you keep going to Psalm 103 and in life…

You’ll see that everything zooms out to show the magnitude of it all.

God is eternal.

His throne.

His angels.

His kingdom

His timeline.

You’re not stuck.

You’re not forgotten.

You’re not running out of time.

Your life is part of something bigger than this—what’s going on right now and what you can’t see past because of the fear.

Walk by faith.

You might not see it right now—today.

But I can testify.

God is with you.

Always working.

Return to Him.

No matter your sin.

No matter what you’ve done.

He is ready to take you back.

He will rejoice.

Return to Him.

Return to Him.