Witness, I fear Losing Myself, Too

A Direction For My Fear of Money

I get scared too.

Of losing my way.

What if for some random reason overnight I become rich.

What if the investment works out.

I’ve always struggled with money and the idea of greed.

I’ve watched my family fall apart because of it.

Break—manipulate—steal.

Money is the root of all evil and I cried because I hated the idea of growing with an abundance of it.

But I knew I could use it to help others.

However, I also know I am human.

So, I asked God to come to me.

I prayed.

I begged Him to help me find some direction to know I am still aligned.

To know that He is still there and I am doing His good works to help others how He always wanted me.

Then in the impulse after the silence, I started writing.

Here is what I wrote.

Written on 05/29/2026

“Surround yourself with people of faith.

Every time you are scared and feel like you need to test your faith and be humbled,

Donate half of your earnings to those in true need.

If you gain it all back then keep going on that mission,

But trust in the LORD, Your God.

If it comes back half, pivot.

If it comes back full, you were humbled.

If it comes back 2x, then expand your mission.

I know it sounds scary now to give away all that money, but in the future, we don’t fear separation from it because it is used to bless others.

God is already blessing us with our dream coming to fruition.

Your dreams and someone else’s are different.

You dream of publishing your books, someone else dreams of having rent taken care of for the year. For Life.

Buy them a house fully paid.

A car completely new.

New teeth.

Debts paid.

Medical expenses covered.

Angela, use your riches to enrich others and strengthen their faith.

Walk away from dirty money.

Walk away from greed.

Walk away from it all if God tells you to.”

And there you have it.

God’s direction for me in time of needing humbleness.

Because then money is not for me.

It is for His children.

Those in need.

And I serve Him.

Wholesome and honest.

I hold myself accountable always.

Because it’s always been my destiny to serve Him.