Witness, You’re Chained
“Daleth” Psalm 119:25–32
I am laid low in the dust;
Preserve my life according to your word.
I gave an account of my ways and you answered me;
Teach me your decrees.
Cause me to understand the way of your precepts,
That I may meditate on your wonderful deeds.
My soul is weary with sorrow;
Strengthen me according to your word.
Keep me from deceitful ways;
Be gracious to me and teach me your law.
I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
I have set my heart on your laws.
I hold fast to your statues, LORD;
Do not let me be put to shame.
I run in the path of your commands,
For you have broadened my understanding.
Life has never been easy. It was never meant to be. I’m not saying that with a negative edge, I’m saying that with an honest one. Because when you sit back to look at my life as an example, sexual assault, neglect, abuse emotional, mental and physical, and even being thrown into the well of depression, gripped by the snakes and bit by constant anxiety.
Life was never easy in the beginning.
Why send a child to suffer?
Why put them through this hardship?
Why is all I could ask until I was about seven when I decided… I know I won’t get that answer now, so I asked Lord for something more precious that could occupy my time.
I asked him one night, when I was seven years old.
I said to Him, “Oh, God. Please, hear me. If You even can. But I don’t know anymore. I don’t want to ask if You exist or why I’m here in the first place. I don’t want to ask anymore. So please, you must have sent me for a reason and I know what it is. God, my name means heavenly messenger from God. That’s why I’m here. I’m here to be a tool for you. Someone who is here to help others see You. Please, God. I will do my best. I’m ready. I Know that I can do it.”
None of this is fiction.
I remember this prayer because it is the foundation for my entire existence.
I knew exactly who I was and who I wanted to be.
I wanted to be who God called me to be.
The messenger.
The voice that pulled others closer to Him.
And while there are many, there are few who believe word for word—in their soul that this is who they were called to be.
So, yes, while I did suffer for years in my own negativity and lost my way. I found Him again, but I always did. He never left my side. He just stayed quiet in those moments when I was weeping for all the wrong choices I kept making.
While my hands bled and flesh ripped because I couldn’t bare the thought of letting go of the reigns. I simply wasn’t ready.
And you won’t be either, until you are.
No one wants to let go of control but read this scripture. For this is the first step in release. In finally being free.
Unchained permanently.
This scripture is a prayer, not for freedom, but for understanding.
Because you can’t be free without knowing what you are being free from.
In order to grow, you must understand and learn some things.
Come to God in your suffering.
Come to Father with all your pain.
He is doing as he must and patiently waiting until you come to Him so that he can help you, teach you what to do—what to let go of.
Choosing faithfulness amid the struggles in life is where the light begins to shine. Where God holds the candle up so that you may finally see the way.
The darkness is where faith is tested, but it’s also where your fire burns brighter.
Growth always leads to freedom.
But if you never knew you were chained, then how would you know that you could be set free?
Look at your chains.
Whatever they may be, shame, regret, wrong choices, your sins.
Pray for understanding to know what you need let go of and stay faithful amid struggle.
This creates the greatest transformation of them all.
No suffering is without a blessing.
And I am a testament to this.
The Light is coming. Open your eyes and look at your chains.
There is freedom within it.
